I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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