I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
