She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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