My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
