jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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