i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
