the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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