oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
