Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
