So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
