Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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