im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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