she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
