I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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