I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
