I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize