she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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