I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
