Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
