Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize