I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you win again, gameday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
