You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
