I bet he comes in French.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
