i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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