i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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