Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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