just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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