He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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