fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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