I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
