no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize