i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
