I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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