The maid of honor just puked.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
