She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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