just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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