Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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