Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
