Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
