It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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