she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
