i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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