So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Farmville is her only friend.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
