Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
