doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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