He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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