The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
