You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
