Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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