$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there's paper in my vomit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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