is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
