it hurts more in the daytime
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Drake has all the answers
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize