Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
