i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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