Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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