So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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