K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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