batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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