We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
