I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
