So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
