I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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