just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
