I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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