I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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