At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
