he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
