adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize