Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
