My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You took a bar mat shot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
