lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
