Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
