Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
