i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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