why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
