I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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