what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
