We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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